This may surprise some of you but there are times when I don't feel like doing much, even though those times are not very often. :) Tonight was one of them. I was in a "blah" kind of mood again tonight. I think a couple of different things played into this mood.
For one, I attended a funeral today for my dear friend Liz's mom. It was an absolutely beautiful service. It was probably one of the most personal funeral services I have ever been to. Liz and I became friends years ago while teaching at Farmington Woods. We had a unique 1st grade team and we shared a bond like no other team I have ever taught with. We have seen each other through the ups and downs of life. We all don't see each other as often as we would like but there is a deep rooted friendship there that is unspoken. Liz's mom had been battling cancer for over a year and last Thursday she left this world and went to be with the Lord. I honestly have to say I knew she was an amazing woman from meeting her myself and hearing about her through Liz. But listening to the stories told today in the service made me understand the kind of person she was even more. It made me think...what will my friends and family say about me at my funeral service someday? Will they be able to share such amazing stories like I heard today? Will they be able to say I was an amazing woman of God who loved those around me unconditionally? I definitely have been evaluating and thinking about Liz's mom and the story she lived here on earth and the lives she touched. I pray for comfort for Liz and her family and just hope I can live and model a life like she did.
Tonight's mood is also coming from the anxiety I am dealing with in regards to our son's appointments tomorrow. I feel like tomorrow I am going to have to deal with our reality. There is no more sugar coating it. There is no more ignoring it. There is no more thinking oh I will deal with that when it comes. I feel like for the first time since December 14th I am going to have to really face the truth that my son has OI. That he currently has a genetic disease and I can't fix it. Is he still perfect to God...of course. But I still want to fix it and take it away. I want to take away any future pain or hurt he may go through. I want to take away any worry or anxiety him and his future wife will go through. And I can't.
As of 4 pm yesterday, our appointments have changed for tomorrow. We are now attending 3 different appointments for Colton tomorrow at UNC. First he will have a skeletal survey as they call it where he will receive xrays to make sure there are no hidden fractures currently in his little body. Then we will meet with the Genetic Counselor and Geneticist to discuss the OI. Then we will meet with the Endocrinologist that will be following and working with Colton. I am SO very thankful and praising God that we have such amazing genetic counselors that have scheduled these appointments for us and gotten us in to see these doctors so fast. But I would be lying if I said I am not a bit anxious, nervous, and scared for the appointments and the reality I am going to have to face. I will definitely be wearing some water proof mascara!