Angelique is someone I moved down to NC with. We were inseparable for years. We met back in college and became especially close when my ex boyfriend and I broke up. She helped me through a really rough time in my life. It was a bad break up but also I had finally decided to deal with the issues of my parents divorce (almost 4 years later). I started seeing a therapist and trying to deal with the hurt and anger I had kept suppressed for so long. Ang really showed me what it meant to have a personal relationship with Christ and she seriously changed my life. I changed my lifestyle and what I did in my spare time. So since we moved down here she had moved to Florida and met this man - Michael. We both got married the same year and were in each other's weddings and then about a year after that they decided to move back to North Carolina. By this time we didn't talk as much and just kept in touch every so often. But I was real excited about her moving back and I was hoping our relationship would change and we would grow real close again. I was nervous but was hoping for the best. Well we didn't. She moved here, they went to Hope for awhile, they attended Hungry for a bit...but we just didn't talk much. The last time we talked was a year ago last October. I have been thinking about her a lot especially since we went through this study called Walk Across the Room in our home group. It challenged us to write a letter to someone who helped us with our walk with Christ. She was the first person I thought of but of course I still didn't write her.
Then on Saturday I heard from someone that she had had a little girl and had moved back to Florida. My heart sank...I instantly swelled up with tears. I couldn't believe it. We were both moms! Something that we had both wanted and talked about a lot together. So we both had babies but we didn't talk. I decided I couldn't put off contacting her anymore. I had to sit down that night and email her. So I did.. I started my email off by saying "I really don't know where to begin or what to say so I am just going to start typing." That is the truth and that is exactly what I did. It was probably the hardest email I have written in a long time if ever. I have thought about emailing her or calling her so many times over the last year, but just haven't. I let my "fear" of what to say or what she would say.. get in the way. Why? Why was I so scared? We hadn't gotten in a fight or done anything to each other.. it was just that we let our friendship slip away and too much time had passed to contact each other. I felt more at peace over the last couple of days just knowing I had taken the step to contact her. I prayed and knew it was in God's hands and I couldn't worry about how she would respond, what she would say, or if she would respond at all.
Well she just wrote me back today. She too just felt we both didn't put forth the effort to reestablish our friendship after while. She wasn't upset with me at all but actually has had lots of the same feelings I have had. She has also wanted to contact me after finding out I was pregnant. It was an encouraging email but also a hard email to read. How could two people who were SO close not talk anymore? How could two people who knew everything about each other not even know each other anymore?
I am excited to see what is going to happen with our friendship. I am not sure it will ever be the same but I don't think I can have those same expectations for us anymore. But I do hope that we keep in contact. I have this peace about it and feel really good about our emails. I challenge you - if you have a relationship like this one.. be the first to take the initiative and step up to contact that person first. You will be so glad you did!!!
I know my friend Erin has recently started an "old" friendship again and it has been a very rewarding time for her too.